


5 Times Magnus Kissed Someone + 1 Time He Didn't

by starlightwalking



Series: A-Spectrum Anthology [17]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aromantic Awareness Week, Awkward Kissing, Demiromantic Magnus Burnsides, F/M, First Kiss, Gen, M/M, Questioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 02:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13731390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: From the place he was raised to his new home, Magnus has kissed a lot of people he regrets, and only one he doesn't.Featuring: an awkward first kiss, a misunderstanding, One True Love, grief, Taako (you know, from TV?), and something significant.





	5 Times Magnus Kissed Someone + 1 Time He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> Magnus Burnsides is demiromantic and you can pry this headcanon from my cold, dead hands.  
> Happy Arospec Awareness Week!

**i.**

She was pretty, she was confident, she was smart. She took him to a garden and told him she loved him, and his heart pounded like crazy.

This isn't what he had expected from her. Magnus had only met the orc girl a week ago, didn't even know her favorite food, didn't know her parents or any of her friends. Hell, he didn't even know her last name.

He was a big kid for his age, but she was even bigger, and he admired her brawn and beauty. Even though he didn't exactly know what he was getting into, he went along with everything she said.

"D'you want this flower?" he said awkwardly, offering her a dandelion.

She fluttered her lashes at him and plucked it out of his hand, tossing it to the ground. "No, Maggie. It's just a weed. I want something else from you."

"Huh?" he asked, and she curled her fingers between his and lifted his body up to her face.

"Kiss me, silly," she murmured, and Magnus did.

It wasn't what he'd expected for a first kiss. She had clearly done this before, and he felt awkward and weird doing it. Something in his heart twisted, and he wondered if it was love—but wouldn't that feel like it was  _right_? This felt... _off_.

She took a kiss from him and left town the next day with a band of traveling bards. Magnus never saw her again, and he didn't really want to.

* * *

**ii.**

It was Cycle 26. A world of dragons and dragonborns provided opportunities for new foods for the twins, new spells for the magic-users, and new stories for Lucretia.

The Light of Creation was won over from a Dragon Queen's hoard by Magnus and Lup as they bested the Queen's fiercest knights to prove their worth; that left three months to prepare for the Hunger's arrival. Three months for Magnus to bask in the glory of fame and adoration.

Lup took it all in stride, posing for pictures and signing autographs and even kissing a couple of the more overzealous fans just to make Barry jealous. Magnus could tell it annoyed Taako not to be the center of attention, and he and Barry spent the rest of the cycle moping together.

Magnus, on the other hand, was unused to being the focus of an entire plane's praise. Lup was cool enough to be adored everywhere she went, and while Magnus himself was pretty impressive even at his worst, he'd never had issues with being swarmed by fans like he did now.

At first, he loved it, but it got to the point where the only way to be left alone was to lock himself in his room on the Starblaster. His family teased him about being so sensitive, lauding his deeds in an exaggerated manner every time he showed his face. Even Lup got in on it.

Magnus began to yearn for a new cycle and a new start, with a world regarding him as a cool interplanar traveler with a lot of skill at punching things—not as savior of the whole plane. He just wanted things to go back to normal, whatever that meant at this point.

He was sick of being so cooped up in the Starblaster, sick of being recognized everywhere he went. So with the help of Lucretia's magic, he disguised himself as a dragonborn and went down planetside to have a rowdy, anonymous night out.

It was a grand success. There was nothing quite like getting ridiculously drunk with a group of complete strangers, and his inebriation provided a good excuse for why he had no idea how to deal with his fake tail. He felt freer than he had in months, flirting with the man next to him and drinking beer after beer.

Magnus wasn't thinking straight (though being queer, when was he ever?) and he got a bit carried away. He accompanied the dragonborn stranger home that night, and they enjoyed themselves in a thoroughly sexual, consensual manner.

Everything all fun and games, right up until he woke up the next morning, half-naked in an unfamiliar bed. It was kind of like playing spin the bottle with Taako and his old roommates from their home plane: the elf wizard was just as good a kisser as you'd expect, and even more unpredictable. (Magnus had refused to play again after only his first round—despite his disinterest in nonsexual kissing in general, getting a wedgie from Taako in the middle of making out was not something he'd like to repeat.)

Magnus looked down at his hands, no longer green and scaly, then sat up suddenly. "Aw, shit," he groaned, ignoring the pounding in his head. Lucretia's spell had worn off—now he looked like himself again!

"Mornin', handsome," the dragonborn man said blearily. Eyes still closed, he pulled Magnus close for a kiss—only this was no heated, passionate precursor to sex, but the soft kind of gesture reserved for the sort of feelings Magnus didn't really understand.

Magnus let himself be kissed, but all the desire and excitement of the previous night were gone. He didn't want this—casual sex was one thing, but this kind of romantic subtext? No thank you.

"Um—I have to go," he mumbled, pulling away. "Thanks for the good time, but I—"

The dragonborn man opened his eyes, concerned, then froze. "Aghh!" he shouted. "Holy fuck! You're—you're Magnus the Hammer!"

"Yeah, I, uh..." Magnus shrugged in a "what-can-you-do" manner. "Magic, amiright? Doesn't last forever. Sorry I'm not..."

"Nah, holy shit," the man exclaimed. "This is—fuck, I can't believe—my friends are never gonna believe this!"

"Yeah, neither are mine." Magnus grimaced, hopping out of the bed and picking up his clothes. "Sorry. I really do hafta go—"

"Stay awhile?" The dragonborn man slipped up behind him and kissed his neck. "I know this ain't what I bargained for, but—"

"No, actually, I'm—I'm good," he insisted, wriggling free. "Have a good—life, I guess."

He left, rushing back to the Starblaster as fast as he could, shuddering to think of those sweet kisses and everything they should have meant, but didn't.

He was never going to kiss anyone like that again.

* * *

**iii.**

It was two and a half years after he met her—one and three quarters since he'd made her laugh for the first time—six months since he first held her hand—

And now she was close to him, so close he could see every freckle on her cheeks; the warm, hopeful light in her eyes; the strands of curly hair fallen out of her bun.

In a moment, Magnus realized something: they were going to kiss. And though somehow that felt unusual, he wanted it desperately, more than anything. He wanted  _her_ , in a way he'd never wanted anyone before.

Julia's lips touched his and he melted into her, loving her with everything he had and more, and he knew—for the first and only time—that he was in love.

He'd kissed before—with the orc girl in his distant, forgotten hometown; with the dragonborn man after some fuzzily-recalled night out; with a dozen more besides. But he'd never liked it, never wanted it, never felt this way.

But with Julia... Their bond was so deep already, so intense and meaningful, it had turned into something he'd never before known without him even noticing.

He noticed now, as they broke apart and she smiled, falling into his arms. Magnus held her tight, never wanting to let go—unless it was to kiss her again.

* * *

**iv.**

The scene replayed in his memory, over and over and over and over and over and—

Would he have done it different, had he known? Would he have held her tighter, longer, fiercer, had he realized? Would he have spent time on the kiss, putting all his love and hope and passion into it, had he thought?

He recreated it again and again and again and again and again—

But no amount of imagining would change that last, careless kiss he'd given Julia before leaving Raven's Roost for the last time. A peck, nothing more—it would haunt him forever.

He had never loved like that before her, and he never would again.

* * *

**v.**

Merle had forgotten to show up, as he so often did. Maybe he was still sleeping off the stress of their adventures in Goldcliff, or he was preparing for Candlenights as it rapidly approached. Regardless, Taako and Magnus alone went out for drinks that evening in one of the few taverns on the moonbase.

"This fuckin' sucks," Taako observed, critically swishing his drink around. "And everything tastes like Fantasy Go-Gurt to me."

"Yeah," Magnus agreed, pushing his drink away. "Tastes worse than that time I kissed that Bugbear with tooth rot."

Taako just looked at him. "Not even gonna ask!" he decided. "Was that the last time you kissed anyone, Mags? 'Cuz that would put me off it, too."

He snorted. "No, I—" Magnus paused. He hadn't told Taako or Merle about Julia yet. Even the realization that a "yet" was included in that thought startled him. He'd been growing closer with his friends, but—how close?

"Sorry t' pry," Taako said. He sniffed at his drink again, as if reconsidering. "Only, I know I miss kissing pretty boys, and I haven't seen you acting like you do."

'Til that moment, Magnus hadn't even known for sure that Taako was gay, though it was pretty obvious and in no way a surprise.

"Nah, you're good, pry away," he said gruffly. "So, men?"

"Oh, hell yeah," Taako agreed. "You gay, too, my dude? I thought I picked up some vibes."

"Bi, actually," Magnus said. "I was—" Well, if he was coming out, he might as well come out with his other skeleton in the closet, too. "I was married. So that's the last time I kissed anyone." Gods, he missed Julia more every day—but he didn't miss kissing. Just kissing  _her_.

"Married?" Taako blinked. "Huh! Y' don't seem like the guy to..." There was a faintly troubled look in his eyes, but he shrugged it off. "What happened?"

"She died." Magnus didn't want to talk about this anymore.

Taako picked up on his reluctance and didn't even bother with awkward condolences. "Last time I kissed a guy was, hell—I dunno, two months ago? Hooked up with a sexy half-elf from across the moon."

"Mmm." Magnus suddenly wished Merle were here to lighten the mood with his stupid goofs.

Taako looked at him appraisingly. "Not to—make things weird, but ch'you wanna make out?"

"...Come again?" Magnus asked after a surprised moment.

"I feel like we could both use a good kiss," Taako said, inspecting his fingernails. "Don't mean nothing serious by it, but—"

"Fuck it," Magnus said, shrugging. Why not? Maybe Taako was right, and he had a feeling that elf knew how to kiss. He looked around: hardly anyone was there in the tavern with them, and no one he knew.

"Is that a yes, sexy?" Taako asked, leaning forward.

"Yeah, who fuckin' cares," Magnus agreed.

"Good." A bit to his surprise—but not really, for some reason—Taako jumped onto his lap and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him close.

Magnus knew this was coming, but it still took him a second to process that he was kissing Taako—his friend, his companion, absolutely not his lover.

Julia would have wanted him to find happiness again, with someone like Taako if that's how it worked out, but Magnus, despite his affection for Taako, just... _didn't_  think of him like that. It just wasn't how it was supposed to work with the two of them. It all felt...off. Wrong.

So even though Taako was a good kisser and clearly had been missing physical connection like this, Magnus pulled away after only a few seconds.

"I'm..." He frowned, not sure how to say it.

"Not feelin' it?" Taako guessed. He rolled off Magnus's lap and back into his spot on the bench. "Yeah, me too."

"Sorry," he said, fighting the urge to wipe the taste of Taako's lipstick off his face.

"Nah, I get it," Taako said. "It felt like...kissing a sibling, or something."

"We don't vibe," Magnus agreed. "Let's not do that again."

"Agreed," Taako said, and took another sip of nasty Go-Gurt flavored beer.

* * *

_and_   **i,**   _again._

Magnus woke up on his couch, cozy and comfortable and happy. He felt a warm body curled in his arms and reached down to pet his dog—only to discover it was not Johann, but...Lucretia?

"Hm?" she mumbled.

"Nothing," he said, smiling. It had been a long time since he and his family had all fallen asleep together in a pile, and with Taako and Lucretia the way they were, he didn't know if they ever would again. Still, he couldn't remember the last time he'd held Lucretia like this. Sometime in the Century, probably.

"Sorry," she said, sitting up and awkwardly pulling away. She didn't look him in the eye. They were both old now; she had lost twenty years as the Director, and his youthful days were leaving him behind. She seemed more fragile, more broken than before. "I was just...tired, and I remembered..."

"Nah, it's fine," Magnus assured her. "Come on, 'Cretia." He opened up his arms. "Just like old times."

She looked at him and smiled faintly, a tear budding in her eye. She fell back into his embrace and sighed. "I can't believe you still want me around after..."

"Hey, that's all done with now." He squeezed her tight. "We're family. Closer, even. You're welcome here anytime. I know the Bureau's getting hard for you to manage, and if you ever want another home, my place is yours. I love you."

Lucretia was silent for a moment, then murmured, "I didn't think you'd...after Julia—"

"Well, no," he agreed. "I'm—she was my one time. I'm demiromantic. But I figure, if you want it like that... Everyone else has got significant others, and like—we're not gonna fit that for each other, but hey! I'm significant, aren't I?"

Lucretia laughed, her face still buried in his chest. "Very," she murmured. "Thank you, Magnus. I can never—"

"Y' don't have to, 'Cretia," he assured.

She began to drift back off to sleep, and his eyes were closed as she whispered to him, "Love you too, Mags."

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on tumblr as arofili, or at my TAZ sideblog aroburnsides!


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